The Epic Corporate Metal Sensation
12 tracks of symphonic power metal for the modern office warrior. Album I is out now — listen free.
12 tracks of symphonic power metal for the modern office warrior. Album I is out now — listen free.
A corporate warrior. A legendary sword. A performance review to the death.
In the Year of the Quarterly Reckoning 77, a memorandum descended upon the Glass Spire. Seventy-seven floors of ambition, performance reviews, and sacred spreadsheets — and thirty percent of it was about to be eliminated.
The Reorganization had been announced. The Overlord had spoken through the intercom. Thirty percent of all employees would be terminated. Their lanyards reclaimed. Their access revoked. Their names removed from the org chart and forgotten by all who once knew them.
One associate refused to accept this fate. He had a plan. He had conviction. He had no idea what he was doing.
His name was Greg.
Somewhere in the Mailroom dungeon beneath the Spire, an ancient artefact lay dormant. Forged from the Mythic Fountain Pen of the First CEO — the pen with which the Founder himself wrote the founding charter — its blade etched with golden runes, a single glowing sapphire set into its pommel. The Promotionsword. Whoever wielded it during a Performance Review could not receive a negative outcome. It was the only artefact in the Spire that could guarantee survival of the Reorganization.
In the coffee room chaos that followed the All-Hands, five strangers collided. A compliance oracle. A server-room druid. A bard of the boardroom fighting with weaponized grief. And an Intern whose face no one has ever seen. They had each other. They did not yet have the sword.
T.M. — The Founder. The First CEO.
The Stamp of Termination. The most feared sound in the Spire.
For the bonus. And the eternal glory of Q4.
Mighty Heroes of Q4!
Behind Promotionsword, there is currently just me — Sebastian. I'm a corporate guy and a writer, but I'm not a musician. Creating Promotionsword has been a work of pure love for the genre, sparked by curiosity about the current state of music creation technology, a burst of creativity, and an idea that refused to stay small.
While Promotionsword is partly AI-created, I stand by every song on this album. Concept and lyrics are entirely mine, and no small amount of work has gone into the music and editing side as well. Ideally, I would love to hear this performed by human beings playing actual instruments someday. Who knows — maybe that day comes.
Promotionsword is an all-in marriage between the corporate world and the world of heroic symphonic power metal, with various other genre pieces woven in. I inhabit the corporate world daily, but my heart goes out to the fantasy of power metal universes — serious and silly and everything in between.
I started with universe and concept. It honestly came together fast once I saw the world of everyday heroes climbing the corporate ladder of doom as a genuine fantasy setting. Then came the title track, which proved to me this was a doable project. I never imagined it becoming a full album anyone could actually listen to — but then "My Name Is Greg" happened, then "All-Hands Hail or Die", and somewhere in there I thought: what the hell, why not take it all the way?
So here we are. Promotionsword lives. I hope you enjoy some or all of these songs as much as I did creating them.
Blessed be the Quarter.